Getting over first love?

My first love just broke up with me not that long ago. She said it wasnt anything I did, but she wants to find out who she wants to be in her life, and love herself before she loves anyone else. and then she will be ready to pick back up with things. I was so suprised how much she actually loved me. But she isnt interested in a future relationship anymore. i read in a myspace bulletin survey she posted that said she doesnt like to get into relationships twice, and doesnt plan on it ever. She was my first kiss as well, and im not young. I may be naive, but i know im in love, and i dont think i will ever be able to get over her, but i know i can move on. I dont want to though....





when ever i have even the slightest thought of her in my head, my heart POUNDS and it seriously physically hurts. Im not exagerating, it seriously brings physical pain to my chest. Im going insain and need a way to stop thinking about her, no matter how much i dont want to...

Getting over first love?
It's sad but true that love doesn't always have a happy ending. There are times when we ask ourselves why we have to find love only to lose it. Your girlfriend tried to distance herself from you but you were probably just so much in love that you never really saw where you were headed all the while. Even if it feels so right to be with her, she is still very much committed to her principle which is, not interested to pursue a future relationship with you or with anyone for whatever justifiable reason she has in mind.





When we love a person, it brings out the best in us. When that person stops loving us and we still choose to continue to love that person, we become miserable because it is like running a race in the opposite direction. The more we love, the more we are drawn away from reality.





There is always a reason why people hurt us and make us cry. It is always part of a learning process that would make us better persons. Stop looking back for love that may make its way back. It wouldn't be coming from behind. It would always be there in front of you. If you miss it, then move ahead for even in love's greatest tragedies, there is always a promise of hope---that of finding love again and keeping it for eternity.





ravishingV
Reply:This just happened to my best friend, except he didnt even give her a reason, he just broke up with her.


It helps her alot when she does things with other people like hanging out with friends, and playing sports. Even talking on the phone to friends helps her. As long as shes busy with something shes not thinking about him at all and she feels alot better, but when she's alone and bored he's all she thinks about and she gets depressed.


You just need to keep busy, meet new people, and avoid thinking about her.


Good luck!





=)
Reply:Gosh when I was reading your question I can say I definetly cud relate... and I know how it feels... im undergoing the same thing...and what I do is take things slow read a lot of people's dilemma here in answers and sometime it makes me feel better knowing what otehrs have to say but I know that in the end , ultimately it will be my decision... Just take your time... it will come naturally and eventually you'll find the answer.. thats what i'm doing
Reply:dude i'm going through the exact same thing. the exact same thing. there's no way we can get them back i know it sucks and it hurts but we have to move on. its easier said than done but...theres nothing we can do. "time heals everything"





find someone who wants you.





good luck and take care
Reply:Surround yourself with family and friends! Take up a hobby, sports, gym! Anything to keep busy! Start dating and meeting new people! Easiest way is to join a club, something you enjoy! Fill your time up as much as possible, that way you won't have empty time to think!


Best Wishes!
Reply:The first love is always hard to get over but guess what you get over it. Hang in there after a while she will be just a memory!!!!!That just means there is somebody better for you.
Reply:distract yourself with someone else. Its the only way to do it! I wish you the best of luck! sorry for all the pain that she has caused you!
Reply:hookers and blow lol lol i kid man i been in your shoes be 4. it sucks , be strong and find another woman.
Reply:i kno how u feel man, it sux,
Reply:i'm goin through a situation like that myself right now. it's tough man i know, not a day goes by i dont think about mine. we were together 8 years and got together at the end of high school. all you can do is just take it a day at a time. don't talk to her or anything, no contact whatsoever. just look at it like you're not good enough to be in her life anymore. she doesn't want you at the moment so why chase someone who doesn't deserve it. just be dead to her and it will be her decision to come back instead of really pushing her away by talking to her. trust me, move on like she isn't there, it'll be hard but don't give in. u'll see, it will get easier. no rebounds either, that will make things worse. give it time man. work out it'll help
Reply:hey!! easy there killer.. you are not going insane.. love makes you crazy, and lost love makes you crazy and sad..


it stinks that this is happening.. we've all been thru it, and i hate to break it to you, but you'll go thru it again, you'll have your heart broken, and you'll break some too... it is all part of dating, meeting, falling in and out of love.. crushes, and the whole life ride..


knowing you can move on and being ready are two different things.. dont rush into another less than meaningful relationship just because you are hurting.. take the time heal your heart.. find some sort of closure with your first love..


you have heard the saying that if you love something let it go and if it is yours it will return.. sparky!, that is sooo true.. if you and your first love are meant to be .. you will.. if not.. as bad as it know it hurts, there is another more amazing woman just waiting to be the lucky one that steals your heart. in the meantime make good friends with ben.. and jerry... pop in a stupid movie, and enjoy the extra cash you have being single!!


best of luck to ya!!!
Reply:ah, honey im sorry... i know how that feels.


something similar happened to me about a year ago.


all i can really tell you is time heals.


i cant promise youll get over her, but from my experience after a while it starts getting easier. youll slowly be able to handle it more, and for a while it will hurt and youll feel the pain in your chest but it will go away.


sadly, sometimes when you think you're over someone, you can suddenly feel that you love them again...


but


from my experience


once enough time has passed and youve dated other people and you find that one other person who makes you feel almost as great as her, then youll be over her.


i dont know if you ever really get over your first love... and idk if love really gets you the way that it first does... after your first love breaks your heart youre no longer innocent to the pain of love and that makes it not as special...


but anyway


just hang in there


in time, you will heal


and you will find someone else


probably someone even better





(also, i wanted to tell you that on an answer you posted recently for a question about how this girl wanted to tell her boyfriend that she loves him, your answer made me feel really relieved. i was the first to say i love you in my relationship and we dont say it to eachother as much as i have in previous relationships so i was always worried that my boyfriend didnt really feel that way, but your answer just made me feel so much better. thanks :])
Reply:oh no... i'm going through something so incredibly similar. i know what you mean about the pounding in your chest, it's like it's on fire or something. he was my first, too... but he didn't love me back. i thought he did, and he told me he did... trust me, if you heard the things he said to me, you'd believe he was, too... but yeah.





i know it seems so over-used advice, but music helps me... like, finding a really sad song and listening to it over and over again... for me, it's a song that really relates to how i feel... i know it sounds cheesy, but that's all i can offer you apart from 'give it time' which sounds really cold...





...don't hate me, but... do you remember "if you love her, let her go"? i don't think there's much else you can do if she doesn't want a relationship with you anymore. it's so good that you think you can move on, and you should encourage that, because once you actually have moved on, you'll probably be so glad you did. if she doesn't want to be with you, then you're only doing yourself harm in wanting her back, no matter how much you don't want to move on.